Tag Archive for: Robert McKee

Love Is An Act of Sacrifice

“Love is an act of sacrifice”

This is from my favourite poem I’ve written over the past 3 years.

It was inspired by the closing lecture given by Robert McKee when I attended his Story seminar in May 2019.

This line is poetic. Beautiful. 

But now I have to put it into practice.

I’m sitting in a cafe trying to arrange a coffee with my ex-wife. She’s received a lucrative job offer that will take her and our 10-year-old daughter out of London.

Where exactly? I don’t know yet. My ex-wife wants to discuss the details over a cup of coffee. It’s apt. I don’t think I want to have this conversation on the phone. 

But I’m feeling very emotional. I’m sat in a Pret a Manger just off Berwick Street in the West End and I’m crying. The pain is too intense for me to have any success in fighting off the tears. I let out my emotions but occasionally scan the room self-consciously. 

I need to hear my ex-wife out and carefully listen to her. Process what she says and then figure out what’s best for our daughter. 

It may mean that my ex-wife takes the new job and I’ll have to make the compromise of not living near our daughter. 

I feel like I’d just got my life back on track and now this development has knocked me off centre.

Over the past 3 years, while my ex-wife and I navigated our divorce, I hopped around from one dwelling to another. Eight times in total. Each place in which I lived was not suitable to bring my daughter back to when I had my weekends with her. 

Then in November 2019 I moved to Morden in South London to be closer to my daughter. Finally, I’d found a place that was suitable for her to come and spend time with me.

My daughter currently lives a short 15-minute drive away. I’d managed to engineer the perfect set up. However, several weeks into settling into Morden, my daughter and ex-wife told me they’d be moving to Kingston Upon Thames.

My daughter wants a shorter commute to her school. Her mother wants a shorter commute to the school she teaches in. I can’t knock that. 

This required minor adjustments and I wasn’t bothered. However, now, I’m sitting here, speculating over today’s development. This isn’t a slight move around South London, this move will mean I can’t just pop down the road to see my daughter.

How far away will my daughter and her mother move?

Can I put what’s best for my daughter above my own selfish desires?

Assuming I’m able to do that, how will I adjust to this new dynamic?

The only way to find out is by leaning into the change. I must learn to trust myself.