Tag Archive for: Creativity

 Speak Easy With Haroon S1:E1

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Overcoming decades of fear and procrastination: Sophia Bennett’s journey to answering her call as an award-winning writer

“My mother let me read whatever I wanted … that’s when I got the first inclination that I wanted to be a writer.” – Sophia Bennett

Did you have the same inclination?

A crystal clear calling into your creative identity, followed by years of procrastination and unrelated fulfillment.

Do you feel like unresolved trauma is holding you back from artistic expression?

Sophia felt the same. Then she made a choice – to start.

That choice led to getting her hands on the manuscript for Harry Potter before the world knew about “The Boy Who Lived.”

Then that pushed her to write her own words instead of studying someone else’s. It led her to finish, write, and write again. Up until today as a professional crime-based novelist.

As the first guest on our podcast, she certainly left a lasting impression, along with truthful doses about the creative journey you shouldn’t miss.

Let’s dive into the highlights …

Who is Sophia Bennett? A little more …

Sophia Bennett is a British, award-winning young adult, and now-turned-crime-based novelist. 

She was previously a librarian, management consultant, and YA author for ten years. Her first book, Threads won the Times/Chicken House children’s fiction competition. It was followed by two further books in the series which were published around the world. 

Sophia’s goal was always to get and keep young people reading. Now embracing artistic re-invention, Sophia is using the foundation of her success to dive into the genre that she’s always loved as a child: crime.

Show Notes

  • Sophia’s formative years as an army child. (1:05)
  • Sophia’s observations on trauma and artistry. (5:02)
  • What stopped Sophia from following through on the inclination she always had as a child to be a writer? (13:20)
  • Sophia on a writer’s necessity. (16:20)
  • How Sophia’s time as a management consultant and traveler enhanced her journey
  • Sophia on reading the manuscript for Harry Potter before the world knew about “The Boy Who Lived.” (17:20)
  • Making different things. Failing. And making things again. (19:00)
  • The unsexy creator journey. (20:55)
  • Grabbing the good moments and being grateful. (33:43)
  • A habit of all the greats and the best advice Sophia received as a writer. (35:30)
  • Sophia’s take on the question ALL writers have to face: “Have you been published yet?” (40:53)
  • The true definition of a writer. (44:34)
  • About Sophia’s podcast. (46:50)
  • Sophia’s early work as a Young Adult writer. (50:00)
  • The shift into crime-based novels. (53:05)
  • On embracing reinvention. (56:50)
  • Sophia’s advice to her 18-year-old self. (1:04:30)
  • The three movies that Sophia absolutely couldn’t do without. (1:09:25)

Listen to the full episode on Spotify

Final advice to writers, artists, and creatives (1:06:04)

  • “You’re already doing the right thing because you’re listening to this podcast.”
  • “Writing is a discipline. There will be creative joy, but don’t expect that to happen every day. Bum on seat. Every day.”
  • “Every now and again, try to finish something.”
  • “Keep going.”
  • “Find communities of fellow writers and learn from them. Find people you trust to share your work and keep going from there.”

What was your favourite lesson from the podcast? Let us know!

People mentioned 

Tom Jones

Marty McFly 

Paul McCartney 

David Beckham 

Katharine Hepburn

David Bowie 

Steven Pressfield 

Stephen King 

Neil Gaiman

Bernadine Evaristo 

Helpful links

The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles by Steven Pressfield 

Clueless (film)

Crazy Rich Asians (film)

The Martian (film)

The Windsor Knot by SJ Bennett 

Where can I find Sophia?

Website | Twitter | Instagram | Podcast 

About the host 

Haroon Khan is a tech copywriter by day and poet by night. Among his artistic pursuits is this podcast where he interviews creatives who’ve already done it. Whether that’s writing a book, making a movie, or an album. He’s documenting their challenges, how they overcame them, and helping you discover how you can too.

Leave a comment.

2021 Reflections – Part 1

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2021 had its fair share of surprises.

Here in London, we came out of lockdown.

What would that mean for me?

I had no idea…there was a lot of uncertainty too.

As I close out 2021, I realise it’s been almost 5 years since I ended my marriage and stepped out of my comfort zone and decided to get to know myself better. Away from the scripts imposed on me by family, culture, religion AND myself…Yes. I have to won what happened to me prior to 2017 too…Anyways, let me reign in my ADHD and stay on topic…

2021…I started the year in a really anxious place.

I’d just had Covid and was already experiencing symptoms of long covid back then. And I started off 2021 reflecting hard on 2020 too, sadly I never really documented my thoughts on here…not explicitly at least. 2020 had been an instructive time.

I won’t go into the loss and grief I experienced in 2020…but I got to spend time away from the poetry scene that I’d been a part of 2017-2019. I had no choice. We were “locked down”.

I attended writing workshops, wrote and shared my work. It was cool.

Come 2021, I had no idea how to react as the world re-opened.

I kept to myself for the first 6 months. Then I got a call from Abdullah, aka SoftSpoken who runs a poetry night called BYOB (Bring Your Own Bars).

“Haroon, we’re firing our DJ. We need someone new and your name came up.”

I actually kind of said no initially. I had imposter syndrome.

I was convinced by my friend Dan to say yes! Dan even invited me around to his home to teach me to DJ to reduce my anxiety around saying yes to Abdullah at BYOB and to get ready for my first gig!

June 2021, I DJ’d and it was incredible!

DJing…It’s been beautiful…It’s made my heart sing, I’ve met some beautiful people…I’m very socially awkward..But I can connect with people over music. I get to make people with my ability to curate music. The whole thing is just infused with so much love.

And after 6 months of being BYOB’s DJ I have been asked to join the team at Pen-Ting.

Pen-Ting is a poetry night I first started going to several years ago. It’s always felt like home. To be asked to join their team as their DJ is an honour.

I’ve been a fan of Repeat Beat Poet and Omari aka SKY GOD. To become collaborators and colleagues with people you’re a fan of…it’s a beautiful thing…

It’s insanely late and I can’t hold my pen much longer. This is just some musings and reflections from 2021…part 1. I’ll put the rest of my thoughts into a part 2 and share that in a couple of days.

Creativity Heals

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I’m not a therapist.

I’m not an expert on mental health……..But, it (mental health) is something I’m grappling with constantly.

I wanted to end this over the New Year. New Year’s Eve to be precise.

This came off of the back of a euphoric high a couple of days prior to this depressive low. I experienced another brief high last night. I connected with an old friend from London Business School whom I hadn’t seen in 10 years. I hoped to carry that positive momentum a little longer…

But I’ve woken up feeling low again.

I have ADHD (as well as autism). This means I have fewer dopamine receptors in my brain than people without ADHD. As a result, ADHD strongly correlates with depression.

There is no magic cure for this. Believe me I’ve tried anti depressants and ADHD meds…

I know what works for me…

It’s a blend of community and creativity.

Today, I woke up. Dopamine levels low. ADHD winning. Depression draped over me like cumulus clouds.

I could have surrendered to this. I wanted to surrender. But…I got up, logged onto London Writer Salon’s Weekend Writer’s Group. I did my morning pages. I wrote with my community.

Do I feel eutrophic right now?

No.

But, I feel better. Creativity is a balm. Creativity…I think latent creativity is a huge cause of my mental health issues that I’ve continued to grapple with since I was 5. In case you’re wondering, I’m 40 now.

But, a simple choice, involving morning pages and creativity (in community) has shifted my mind and led to this blog post.

I’m feeling better, but I won’t leave things to chance. I’m autistic and am part of an autistic theatre group. I’ll be joining them later today to rehearse for a Theatre Showcase where I’ll be performing.

More creativity.

More community.

More creativity in community.

“Latent creativity is not benign.” – Chase Jarvis

Give Yourself Permission To Be Creative

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“Play the fool.”

Ethan Hawke

I love this quote and it’s a great takeaway from Ethan Hawke’s TED Talk.

In fact, this talk is jam packed with great quotes. Here’s another from Ethan Hawke:

“If history has taught us anything, the world is an incredibly unreliable critic.”

I wish I’d written this particular quote, hell, I wish I’d written the first one I quoted too.

Back to the second quote though. Why do I wish I’d written that one in particular?

Because it’s true. When the Beastie Boys released their second album “Paul’s Boutique”, it was universally disliked by critics AND fans.

That must have hurt for the Beastie Boys. I honestly don’t know if I’d have been able to create another album after that. Not I was in my early 20s and had to take that kind of rejection after a debut album where I’d conquered the world (Beastie Boys – Licensed to ILL) .

The Beastie Boys didn’t give up. They went back and learned instruments. They took time out to work on their craft and on have fun with their instruments. Zero expectations.

They played the fool.

They became beginners again and in the process reinvented themselves.

They gave themselves permission to be creative.

Seems to have worked well for them!

I try not to do regrets, but I do regret every period in my life when I didn’t give myself permission to be creative.

However, I can’t EVER remember a time in my life, particularly since 2017 when I regretted giving myself permission to be creative.

Sometimes the end result is great. I’ll get the validation and praise for my work. Sometimes my work is ignored.

But, giving myself over to the process of creating…it just makes me feel alive and full of purpose. And new paths unfold.

“To thrive, to express ourselves…we have to know ourselves.

What do you love?

And if you get close to what you love, who you are is revealed to you and it expands.”

Ethan Hawke

Deep down we know we want to thrive.

The path to thriving comes through creativity.

Give yourself permission to be creative.

Here is Ethan Hawke’s TED Talk.


Keep Going

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I love Bryan Cranston.

Dude made me laugh hard for years in Malcolm in the Middle.

Then he gave a nuanced and interesting portrayal of Walter White in Breaking Bad.

That show and his character made me confront uncomfortable things about myself.

That’s what great storytellers do.

I’m about halfway through reading his memoir “A Life in Parts”.

It’s an honest and unpretentious (so far) of his journey as an actor, from childhood to present.

My big takeaway so far?

Don’t give up.

Focus on processes, not outcomes.

Know what matters to you.

I’ve failed at this often in the past. I’ve become fixated and driven by outcomes. It doesn’t work.

I gave up on following my heart and the creative path it desired in my mid 20s.

Your heart never forgets.

Mine didn’t.

No matter how hard I ran away or hid, my heart was too fucking loud.

You don’t have to do what I did.

I deferred my creative and artistic journey by a decade and a half. You don’t have to do the same.

Focus on processes, not outcomes.

Bryan Cranston’s career really took off when he become more focused on his craft. He just wanted to become a better actor.

He didn’t get upset when others landed opportunities he went for. He reached a point where he was genuinely when others landed gigs he went for!

He kept chipping away and focusing on his craft, on his love of acting.

It worked.

He landed Malcolm in the Middle and Breaking Bad in the same decade.

One role was in his 40s, the other in his 50s.

Know what matters to you.

This took me until much later in my life to realise.

You have to know yourself.

Do you know what you can and can’t live without?

I’ll leave you with this quote from Bryan Cranston:

“I didn’t want to spend my life doing something I was good at, but didn’t love.

I wanted to do something I loved, and hopefully become good at it.”

Navigating Depression and ADHD as a Creative

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It’s 7am. I’m getting up.

Doesn’t sound unusual. Thing is, I went down for a nap at 6pm yesterday. I was tired.

Again, sounds normal and reasonable.

I have long Covid. I tested positive for Covid early December 2020. I was extremely ill for 2 weeks. It’s now the middle of May 2021. I’m still grappling with severe fatigue, breathlessness and severe hair loss.

Last night I was going to go out for a walk. It pelted down with rain and hail stone and the sky thundered and roared.

I stayed indoors.

At 6pm I decided to take a nap. I was trying to read “Own Your Own Weird” by Jason Zook, but was way too tired.

Pre long Covid, this nap would be brief and I’d wake up later in the evening, ready to be creative and productive.

Instead, I woke up 13 hours later.

I woke up, upset that I can’t this control this aspect of my health and my time.

I’m anxious as I’m waiting to hear back on some leads for paid work projects. They’ll get back to me. But for now, I can only focus on the silence in my email inbox.

I decided to load up Logic Pro X and open I beat I was making so I could share it online. These beats were made using presets, so I learnt the hard way that Logic Pro X does NOT save the presets you choose to make beats with when you save it.

When you make original compositions it saves everything. But not when you use presents, it just won’t.

I created 5 beats last week. All made and saved this way. Lost forever.

Last week, just before I took a break for Eid I was on a high. New leads for paid freelancing gigs, beats made…..lots of promise.

An artistic and creative path has ups and downs, twists and turns. For me, this is heavily exacerbated by my ADHD.

ADHD makes me far more susceptible to extreme highs and lows. Depressive episodes and lows are a lifelong companion.

Waking up to the kind of start I have today is often the recipe for very unproductive depressive episodes.

But I’ve been doing my morning pages this morning and gaining some clarity.

I’m feeling very down. Doesn’t take Colombo to figure that out.

But, I have leads for work. They’re likely busy. So I’ll park that anxiety to one side, or at least try to.

As for the lost beats. I’ll create again and I’ll write down the settings for beats made using presets on Logic Pro X, so I don’t repeat this mistake.

The lost time and fatigue from long Covid?

My body has been impacted by an unforgiving virus. My body needed the rest. I listened to my body. I need to be patient with my health.

Despite my current ADHD mood swing, essentially a depressive episode, I’m gonna try and push on today.

A creative path isn’t all bouncy castles every day.

I’m going to focus on what I can control today.

I’ll go out for a walk and work on some creative and paid freelancing goals and read.

I’ll “Keep Going”.

The pendulum will swing the other way.

If you’re an artist, a creative and / or have ADHD, know that you’re not alone navigating the ups and downs that come with what feels like a lonely path.

You’re not alone.

Keep Going.

We need you and your gifts.

Share them with us.

Let generosity be your North Star.

Two Reasons Why I Still Buy Music

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I still buy music.

I care about supporting artists.

Which is why you’ll find me on Bandcamp and iTunes buying a lot of new music.

Today, I picked up a couple of bits.

Nah by D.Tail and Turkish Dcypha (single).

We Will Rise by Blue Lab Beats (EP).

D.Tail is someone I connected with on social media, then got to meet at Shay D’s Word on the Street open mic in London.

It took me a while before I was ready to properly listen to his music.

Ty, the legendary rapper and producer from Brixton was a huge fan of D.Tail.

Ty once said:

“There are 3 UK MCs who gave me goosebumps when I first heard them rhyme:

Klashnekoff

Durrty Goodz

D.Tail.”

It’s not hard to see why. If Eminem, MF DOOM and Kool Keith (Ultramagnetic MCs) had a threesome, D.Tail would be the baby that’d come out of that madness.

He has an insane flow, crazy humour and no shortage of personality. When you hear him rhyme, you. know it’s him. He stands out. Plus his quotable lines. Here’s my favourite on this track:

“How many ghostwriters does it take to write a Drake verse?”

Turkish Dcypha‘s beat is energetic, with frantic hi hats, great drum programming and speaker rattling bass lines.

He’s definitely one of the most prolific hip hop producers in the UK.

I wanna see both D.Tail and Turkish Dcypha receive their flowers while they’re still around.

As for Blue Lab Beats….they have a special place in my heart. When I first met my partner, we’d exchange links to songs and music videos constantly. My secret weapon to impress her?

Blue Lab Beats.

I sent her music videos for Ooo La La and Hi There.

Ooh La La’s video prompted discussions with my partner about our favourite pies and our shared love of gravy (just watch the video!).

Hi There’s music video had my partner sharing her love of 70s clothing.

Let’s not forget how utterly incredible Blue Lab Beats’ music was too in those music videos!

Blue Lab Beats create jazz. You can hear the influence of hip hop in the grooves and virtuoso NK.OK’s otherworldly drum programming. It’s well worth checking out his Instagram account to see his finger drumming abilities which are up there with Beatsbyjblack, another renowned finger drummer.

NK.OK creates the rhythmic foundation for David Mrakpor aka Mr DM, a multi instrumentalist who is an absolute wizard. He’s like King Midas but with musical instruments.

Their We Will Rise EP opens with Blow You Away (Delilah). It’s got a lovely summer vibe to it. It’s the soundtrack to good times and great weather.

Nights in Havana has a lovely drum beat accompanied by Mr DM’s guitar licks and keyboard playing that would make Kaidi Taitham stand up and take notice.

The EP continues with We Will Rise, the title track. It’s hard to pick a favourite when each track is so strong and brings something unique.

Blue Lab Beats don’t just slap a collection of songs together. Great care has been put into the sequencing of this EP. you’re taken on a journey. Like watching a movie.

In fact, I’d love to see them score a movie.

If you want to ensure great music continues to thrive and artists like D.Tail, Turkish Cypha and Blue Lab Beats, find ways to financially support them. Buy their music, go to their gigs, find their Patreon if they have one, buy their merchandise.

I love artists, I love supporting them and I’ll continue to do it with my wallet and using any platform I have, like this blog to celebrate them and spread the word.

oh baby

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I love surprises! Don’t you?

With my head hunched down at my laptop in a trendy office I hummed “oh baby….”

The sounds of hypnotic synths travelled through the room.

“What song is this?” I asked my colleague.

“It’s ‘oh baby’ by LCD Soundsystem” she replied.

For decades I’ve struggled with dissociation*. I’ve found it hard to feel. Joy has been hard to come by.

This was NOT one of those moments. An honest piece of art can disrupt you and heal you. It can act as a form of therapy.

Music does that for me.

Find something that does that for you.

It’ll act as a balm for your spirit.



*You can find more information about dissociation at this link.

Jump Starting a Car – Take #2

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So, I wrote my last blog post “Jump Starting a Car” hoping it’d I could bring some momentum back to this blog. I published it a few days back and shared it several days afterwards. But I wrote it back in November.

I didn’t make good on the intentions I set in that post and on 30th December, on the cusp of a New Year I started writing this blog post.

I want to get back to this blog. I want to get back to just writing for the joy of it and sharing it with people. I want to get back to the freedom that comes with not being attached with the outcome of my writing.

After almost 3 years of consistent procrastination I began blogging in February 2020. It was one of the most surprisingly satisfying creative experiences I’ve had.

In my last post I set an intention. I’d share more of my old published work and that I’d write more new work. Not only did I not do that, but as I’ve admitted here, I wrote that back in November and didn’t even publish it until the end of December. I wasn’t brave enough to share it until the first week of January 2021.

Periodically in 2020 I’ve shifted between these 3 states:

1.) Writing, publishing and sharing my work.
2.) Writing, but not publishing and sharing my work.
3.) Not writing at all.

I need to get better at publishing and sharing my work. It’s not good enough to just write a draft in long hand in my notepad. It needs to go onto this blog almost immediately.

Often I just refuse to publish and share as there’s usually something I’ve promised in the blog post. Sometimes it’s a companion piece or a follow up blog post.

I’m scared to publish the first piece of work that has already been drafted as I’m scared of letting myself and others down by not following through on the next piece of work.

I promise I’ll publish and share work I’ve written in the past year (and beyond in some cases).

I’ve overcome a huge internal barrier just by starting this blog back in February 2020. For the first time ever I’ve published and shared my work.

But I’m still wrestling with fear.

I’m still scared to share my writing if it’s not perfect.

I make references in my work to follow up pieces I’ll create and then I don’t publish the original work. It’s because I’m scared of not delivering the follow up. It’s a madness.

And so what if I don’t…at least to begin with or ever…It can’t be worse than holding back work that’s already complete.

Seth Godin is right. Not sharing creative work is utterly selfish.

Letting my fear and ego get in the way of sharing creative work that could help others is selfish.

That’s the opposite of why I write and create art.

Time to get over myself and to get back to creating and sharing.

Jump Starting a Car

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So, I’ve not kept promises this year.

I’ve made promises to myself and to anyone who is kind enough to check for my work.

My last blog post (that wasn’t a poem), It’s Ok to Not Be Ok I broke through a creative block to talk about the difficulties I’ve faced this year.

I said I’d follow it up promptly with a positive appraisal of 2020, a celebration of milestones and achievements. Something I desperately needed given every time I think of 2020 all I can recall is the tears, exhaustion and burnout.

Expressing gratitude for the moments of mercy and generosity 2020 has graced me with….it’s a must.

I’m still working on reflecting, appraising and writing about 2020. When I’m done, I’ll share it here. Until then I’ll be publishing and sharing posts I wrote but didn’t put up on my blog.

Writing this, I realise I’ve been guilty of the very thing I criticise other artists of:

Being precious.
Being a perfectionist.
Being scared.

“Tomorrow’s not promised for none of us.”

Ty – I’m Leaving (off of his 4th album “Special Kind of Fool“)

So, I’ll be pouring through drafts of blog posts over the next few weeks and sharing as much of that work as I can while creating new work and sharing that too.

I want to end 2020 strong. In 2021:

I intend to turn up.
I intend to do the work.
I intend to hit the publish button more often.