A New Perspective

I really need to start writing more again. Well….I want to write more. “I need to…” is such a strong and absolute statement.

I know I’m starting to repeat myself, but I’m still grieving, it’s thrown my physical health off of balance. I’m also trying to figure out ways to bring money in as copywriting is taking time to yield results. I’m dealing with a lot and it’s getting in the way of my writing.

But when I write, when I bother to turn up and do the work, magic happens.

My friend and brother Alain “Fusion” Chapman runs an event called BMT (Black Man’s Time) which now runs weekly on Instagram as an Instagram Live show at 7 pm UK time every Friday evening. They run a free-write session and I decided to take part in one recently. This is what I came up with.

Affirmations

I’ve let go of resentment
I’m grateful for new beginnings
I’m grateful for the love I receive daily

I choose to craft a positive narrative about my future

I am ready to Create:
art
hope
happiness
love

I deserve:
acceptance
compassion

I deserve to be seen

I am learning to be generous and kind to
myself and others

Access to the muse, to the God within is
my divine right and I am open to receiving it now

Haroon – 29th May 2020

I didn’t know I had this poem in me. I was lucky enough to read it on the BMT livestream and Fusion made a point about how this represented a turning point in the years he’s known me. The optimism and hope is palpable.

I’m done being angry. The things that happened to me, abuse, trauma. None of it is my fault. None of it. But how I proceed from here on in, it is MY responsibility. These past 3 years I’ve been putting in the reps, I’ve got broader shoulders. I can carry this responsibility. I’m sure of it.

Anger and resentment are behind me. Fusion, someone I’ve been a fan of for almost 20 years loved my poem, it made him smile. This is what success looks like.

Staying Fluid

I’ve been quiet on here for a while. I lost someone close to me to Covid19 and I’m still struggling to come to terms with my loss and the loss to my community.

I’m working my way through my grief at my own (crawling) pace. Creativity is my refuge. It always has been a way to process loss, pain, and trauma. Right now my creative urges are moving towards bite size thoughts and musings. This is a departure from how this blog got started. I loved writing those long sweeping narratives and I know I’m not done writing them. But right now microblog posts are what emerges on the page when I sit down to write.

I’ve held off for a while, fighting my current direction, thinking that if I could only concentrate harder (it’s fucking hard man, I have ADHD) I’ll write a longer narrative piece. But then I went through my first 13 posts and saw that I’ve broken form, posted poems with little explanation, posted poems with backstories longer than the poem!

My current urge to write shorter pieces will likely get me penalised by Google, but it’s another evolutionary step in this blog that I find so much joy in writing and sharing with you.

My blog doesn’t have to be just one thing, it’s a document of my creative journey.

My takeaway from this? As an artist, you turn up to do the work and if the muse appears, don’t question what form She takes. Stay fluid.


The Key to My Creative Process

I’m having a fascinating journey as a writer right now. 

The past several weeks have been interesting. Some days I’ve lacked inspiration and other days I’ve been furiously jotting down ideas that I want to come back to. 

Recently, I was reading a book called “Feck Perfuction” by James Victore and an idea popped into my head. I jotted it down dutifully, as I had 15 other ideas the past couple of weeks. I was tempted to file it away, just like the others. I promised myself I’d return to it when I’m in a better position.

Fortunately, I’ve read “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield. I now recognise “resistance” when I see it.

The reality is, as artists and creatives, inspiration simply isn’t enough. It MAY be the beginning of a process, but it’s not the entire process. 

I decided to expand upon the concept of “Artist’s Sign Their Work”, an idea I stumbled upon when reading “Feck Perfuction”. I had no planned direction when I began writing this piece. I just had one starting point:

“I’m going to change my signature. Going forward I will sign all of my creative work with this new signature”

That’s it. I knew there was something there, but I had to work at it. I wrote a couple of paragraphs and then I scrapped them.

I began writing again, from scratch.

It’s not fun writing and disliking what you’ve committed to the page or screen, but you have you to get past this minor speed bump and often this requires pushing through it. This is the rent you pay to create great work.

Once I get past the initial “resistance” I’ll begin writing and often I end up liking what’s taking shape on the page or screen. Which is progress, but I always give my writing some space. I’ll go off and I’ll read a book or I’ll listen to some music on a walk. I need to develop some objectivity. Later I’ll return to my writing, then as I re-read it, I’ll realise it doesn’t work, not yet. 

I love rap and poetry, and it influences the way I write and assess my work. I like my writing to have a rhythm to it. I want everything I write to roll off the tongue when I read it.

Quite often that rhythm is about re-arranging paragraphs so that a piece flows well. Other times it’s about editing sentences. To write really well though, you need to do both. 

I also love film, so I’m always aiming to create a narrative arc. I want my writing to feel like a story, with a beginning, a middle and an end. I’m a sucker for a good start and a good ending. I want to grab your attention, take you on a ride and then close strong. 

But the process is messy, it’s doesn’t follow a straight line. 

I can alternate without any justified reason between cleaning up sentences where I: 

  • Rid my work of redundant words
  • Change the punctuation
  • Shorten sentences
  • Lengthen sentences

Yes, you read the last one correctly. Sometimes lengthening a sentence can make it and the paragraph it sits in jump to life. 

So, going back to what I was saying before, I will repeatedly alternate between cleaning up sentences and rearranging the order of paragraphs.

It just makes sense in my head and I LOVE the process of doing this. 

Creativity is play, it is tinkering.

However, none of that can happen IF you don’t begin. If you don’t begin to rest your hand on a piece of paper or your keyboard.

It’s by starting, however imperfect, that I was able to write my last blog “My Name Is Haroon and I’m An Artist”.

I started writing this current article the day after I wrote the above article (2 weeks ago), but I kept stopping. It could have died a death like so many other ideas I’ve had, but it’s never too late to start again, to resuscitate an idea, to return to a dream. 

I may stop, but it’s temporary. I promise I’ll never stop starting and seeing through ideas and sharing them with you.

I hope you start something new and see it through, I hope you share it with me and with everyone else.

I can’t wait. 

Potsa Luv xx